Bill is going to graduate school in Scotland to study Reality Avoidance. Surprisingly little was made of his decision to leave Kansas (the state, not the band), rather than continue his promising career in quixotism there. At a recent press conference, the erstwhile Mr. Evans mused wistfully that he has no regrets, nor pants.
A graduate of the Ringling Ringling Brothers/Barnum & Bailey Clown College, his unique of mix of serendipity and cynicism comes naturally to him. He eschews conventional clown wisdom, but not the cute button nose. Overall, he maintains a delicate balance between antithetical responsibility, incidental depravity, self-exploitative expression, and brunch.
Bill is under the delusion he is a musician. No one knows why. During his time off, Not works on his solo effort: a rock opera about his proposed solution to Alan Turing’s Halting Problem, composed entirely of works for chinchilla.
Several years ago, Mr. Evans was diagnosed with a rare case of Kansas (the band, not the state) Enthusiasm. There is no known cure, but fans are encouraged not allude to parts of “Carry on My Wayward Son,” “Dust in the Wind,” or “Miracles out of Nowhere.” He dislikes Journey.
Since his arrival on Earth, Bill has become enamored of human customs, and set out to document his observations on a series of naughty philosophical playing cards. A powerful testament of insight and bad taste, Bill’s first foray into existential pornography was a resounding success. Follow-up projects being considered include the complete works of William Shakespeare on a sanitary napkin, and a Marxist Dildo.
Mr. Evans has been subpoenaed to testify before Congress on numerous occasions with no apparent impact on his musical career, though he remains adamantly opposed to low-calorie cheese. His long list of side projects have included a collection of short stories about Cleveland set to music, a crafty symphonic opus about hedgehogs, and the United Nations. He has no ferrets.
On his time off, Bill enjoys a wide variety of activities of marginal interest. Of note is his research into the sleeping habits of bricks. In a recent paper entitled, “The Dream State Analysis in Ceramic-Based Exo-Porous Structural Units”, Mr. Evans illustrates a subtle mastery of cognitive psychology and plagiarism. His abstract describes a new foundation for building more self-empowered buildings, and a preliminary analysis of the color red. He also juggles.
